The Boy and the Girl irking me

I had the perfect opportunity to talk to the boy today but I punked out. I will try again tomorrow.

My yoga teacher closed the session today with something like :"When you've reached the right time the right things will come, you just have to wait". I can't figure out if I've reached the right time or if I have to be patient and wait? But I know that all I have to do is say "Hi" and whatever happens after that happens, no sweat. But its getting my mouth to work that is the problem.

And its not an excuse cause I've had plenty of examples of people trying to talk to me and nothing good coming from my mouth. I get nervous if I don't have a prepared statement in my mind. I think I will think up 2 or 3 auto responses to continue conversations. I'm too old to be so nervous and too young to have my fill of new people.

And then my BF comes back from radio silence (even though for once I do have somethings going on in my life) to ask a favor for another friend. No "hows it going with the boy, your fitness, work, your general mental health". Just help this person you tried to help before but they didn't follow your simplest of instructions. I will cool of before I respond, not that I'm angry just peeved that after a week this is what she comes up with.

Some times I feel like she's my best friend and I'm her acquaintance. Sometimes I just need someone to talk to or to hear someone talk ; just get me out of my head. And its like clock work when I need her the most she's not there. But those are the kind of people I attract talkers not listeners. Just because I'm quiet doesn't mean I have nothing to say. I mean the things people tell you when there is a bit of silence. I have stories to tell believe you me.

I wish I could find someone to pull me out from my barriers. The filters I use to keep people happy so they like me. My confidence is raising little by little and I'm starting to think of myself as a treasure not a consolation prize. So those people who are taking me for granted better realize what they got before I'm gone : )

Sicawesome

This ring is sick and awesome:

http://www.pyramidcollection.com/itemdy00.asp?c=02&SKW=jewelry+ring&SKW2=&TKW=&Scat=Y&GEN1=Rings&OR=&parent=&T1=P11378+8&PageNo=1&pos=35#zoom

What is wrong with me?

I have this sense of dread I don't know why?

It has nothing to do with Spinelli, I just am confused about my life. I love most of the things in it and I feel I'm on the right track I just want some love. I've put it out there in the universe I've prepared myself but I don't feel it. All I feel is worry about the future. Will I always be alone? And should I even worry about that when I have more pressing concerns like career, health, etc... I keep thinking something is missing I should be doing this or doing that but at the end of the day maybe I'm right where i should be and I'll look back and say "thank goodness I didn't get into anything back then". But the heart wants what the heart wants.